Hokay, little bit of admin first: This is not a rant about kids in inappropriate T-Shirts (well not specifically anyway.) nor is it about obese children (although, I AM baffled by them; what did you do? strap it to a chair and drip feed it blancmange for the first 8 years of its ‘life’?) No, neither of those.
What does irritate the bejeebers out of me though are novelty, reportedly ‘wacky’ and ‘zany’ slogan t-shirts and their current; bizarre rise in popularity.
Now these come in many forms, you have the amateur anti-capitalist dog-box ones that hilariously play on big company names and turn them into a meaningless pun:
Hapitwat, Adihash, Tommy Hilfinger et al. Oh how very subversive, You’ll have the capitalist pigs on the run in no time.
and the following, more irritating ones that can usually be found hanging off of fat, socially inept, sweaty lecherous wastes of blood and organs that seem to think that wearing a T-Shirt is the same thing as having a personality, I’m thinking:
“if found, please return to the pub”
(I actually saw a fat spotty 16 year old lad walking around with his mum wearing this)
And my personal ‘favourite’:
“I’m not bald; this is a solar panel for a sex machine”
Sometimes the clothes DO make the man.
(This rant originally appeared on Tales of Misanthropia)