It’s a t-shirt, not a personality.

Oh dear.

Hokay, little bit of admin first: This is not a rant about kids in inappropriate T-Shirts (well not specifically anyway.) nor is it about obese children (although, I AM baffled by them; what did you do? strap it to a chair and drip feed it blancmange for the first 8 years of its ‘life’?) No, neither of those.

What does irritate the bejeebers out of me though are novelty, reportedly ‘wacky’ and ‘zany’ slogan t-shirts and their current; bizarre rise in popularity.

Now these come in many forms, you have the amateur anti-capitalist dog-box ones that hilariously play on big company names and turn them into a meaningless pun:
Hapitwat, Adihash, Tommy Hilfinger et al. Oh how very subversive, You’ll have the capitalist pigs on the run in no time.

and the following, more irritating ones that can usually be found hanging off of fat, socially inept, sweaty lecherous wastes of blood and organs that seem to think that wearing a T-Shirt is the same thing as having a personality, I’m thinking:

“if found, please return to the pub”
“Amateur gynaecologist”
(I actually saw a fat spotty 16 year old lad walking around with his mum wearing this)

And my personal ‘favourite’:

“I’m not bald; this is a solar panel for a sex machine”

Sometimes the clothes DO make the man.

(This rant originally appeared on Tales of Misanthropia)

5 comments on “It’s a t-shirt, not a personality.

  1. That picture’s photoshopped 🙂

    I’d like to think there’s room for novely t-shirts. I’m a big fan of the balconyshirts ones like my Space is Ace one and the Littlest Hobo one we got you 🙂

    But yes. The first time I saw a “Ketamine: Just say Neigh” t-shirt I let out a small giggle, now I just groan and roll my eyes.

    • It is a very perilous genre of clothing, the ones you mentioned all pass muster as they are suitably tongue in cheek and self aware and the one you got me was a lovely sentiment. 🙂

      But the ones I am more perturbed by are usually come with a zany one liner on them; that I assume are supposed to accurately reflect the wearers alleged sense of humour/personality that usually just serve to reinforce my preconception that they have neither.

  2. I don’t really like slogan T-shirts. A friend bought me a Yoko Ono one that said “Working Class Hero” on the front. I thought I should try it at least once. I wore it on a TV show. The way I was shot, and because I was wearing a jacket, led to the only visible letters being “ass”. That seemed appropriate.

    On another occasion, a man walked towards me wearing a T-shirt that declared “here comes trouble”. I tensed up as he approached me. And then he just walked right past. He wore a T-shirt that made a lie of his life.

    • Haha… That’s brill and sums up my point nicely, it’s false advertising. If there really is such a job as a Female Body Inspector, why do they primarily employ the socially inept, creepy pervos that are frequently seen wearing their uniform?

  3. I was unfortunate to witness a young man wearing the slogan “You look like I need another drink” on a Saturday afternoon. Looked like he was out for a nice day with his girlfriend – what did she do to deserve that?!

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