Who is me?

Ok…. Firstly and foremostly; allow me to clear up the name:

The Fag Casanova.

Unfortunately I am neither interesting nor stylish enough to be homosexual nor am I stupid or angry enough to be homophobic. This was an insult hurled at me in the toilets of a particularly rough pub in my home town of Leeds when I had the dandyish notion of washing my hands and looking in the mirror after ‘using the facilities’ and it tickled me so much that it has stayed with me ever since.

No… Alas; I am just an average Northern heterosexual man-child of average height/intelligence with bad hair and teeth who smokes too much, drinks more than his share, likes funk, wears corduroy, daydreams about monkeys (alot), tries to write, enjoys a good read, dances like a deranged Giraffe trying to escape a straitjacket, eats far too much ice-cream and attracts shenanigans…..But don’t let that put you off just yet.

My real name is Gareth Aveyard, Here I am:


(See, I wasn’t lying about the hair)

I’m *ahem* in my twenties and the words I put on these pages came from my brain;  I hope you enjoy them or at the very least ignore them politely.

Thank you.


If you’d like to contact me, or just to send me random insults (please don’t) my email address is: gareth.aveyard@gmail.com


22 comments on “Who is me?

  1. I thought ‘fag’ was something to do with cigarettes!

    • Alas no, I am assuming at the time of inception the strange wino man was making a comment on what he percieved to be my sexuality.

      I think the cigarette association and my stupid addiction is quite a big part of why the name stuck.

  2. I’m intrigued as to what pub you were in
    Lets hope it wasn’t the Three Legs

    • You’re familiar with Leeds?

      It was The Angel… Which whilst is as rough as old arseholes, I will always think of as my second home.

      The Three Legs is murder-bad.

      • Love leeds, its my home town 🙂
        and yes the Three Legs is murder bad, nice way of putting it!
        I believe we both enjoyed the presence of the lovely Jon Ronson tonight (fear not, I follow you on twitter not in real life)

  3. i just stumbled upon your blog on the wordpress site and i’m liking it! keep it up, g

  4. Somebody (?) on Twitter recommended to follow you there , which is what I’m doing for quite a while now.
    Didn’t regret it – thanks for your wonderful entertainment!

  5. you are very entertaining, even when writing about depression. I’ll look out for a corduroy wearing maniac with bad teeth in Chorlton but fear there are too many. Enjoy your evening

  6. Somebody (?) on Twitter recommended to follow you there , which is what I’m doing for quite a while now.Didn’t regret it – thanks for your wonderful entertainment!

  7. I am just making a blog related to this. If you allow, I would like to use some of your content. And with full refernce of course. Thanks in advance.

    – Josh

  8. Turns out “alot” is actually two words…

    Who’d have thought?!

  9. i like your blog … and you ! 😀 bye


  10. Well I think it’s nice hair.

  11. Your expression is pure Larry Grayson!
    Love it 😀

  12. Ha! When I read this I thought that the insult was “You’re neither interesting nor stylish enough to be homosexual nor stupid or angry enough to be homophobic” Ha ha.

    Also, quite apt that your avatar is a pink triangle 🙂

  13. What was that about Chorlton?

  14. That hair and corduroy. Hmm. You sure someone from the 70s has not displaced you somewhere in the wrong time?

  15. I love your hair! And your blog! And you’re pretty fun!

  16. I’ve met plenty of queers who are neither stylish nor interesting. I’m sure you’d be allowed on our bus just by value of your witty repartee Gareth!

  17. I follow you on Twitter and find you to be in the most interesting top 5 favorites of mine. Funny, I thought you were older and not quite as handsome as you are : ) Please keep it all coming, you make me laugh and think, and that’s what we need.

  18. hi gareth!

    insulted in a pub restroom… my condolences to you!

    but you took it like a man and look how strong you grew!!

    everybody will snooze blue

    so I made this video just for you…



  19. Your friend is in a “ukulele group” that is touring Germany by trading on the UOGB’s image reputation. It is not a coincidence that there is a guy in the band tours Germany as a Cliff Richard look alike. Cheeky.

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